god i'm fucking bored -.-

just started my law internship today. and e lawyer i'm attached to is in court for the WHOLE DAY, so i've got nothing to do at all. brilliant. so i'm just doing nonsense, and feeling incredibly guilty while i do it -.- cos i'm supposed to be interning, not doing shit.

but kristine's dad is super nice (: haha, and this world is incredibly small. its so funny. i was telling angie and we were all ooh-ing and ahh-ing over the links. smirks.

i haven't had the time to upload my new zealand photos yet :p but i'm starting to plan my next trip already! taiwan with mel. woohooo. maybe i'll get to see wu zun :D hehehe, this is obsession i tell you. i'm starting to quite like jiro too, since i'm watching KO one now. i like his 'will die for friends' attitude (y)

will it kill you to reply ONE message -.- and after i call you so many bloody times, you should have the decency to call me back right. argh. and i know you're out alr. annoying.

i don't think some ppl can understand how important my dances are to me. they've all represented a stage in life that i'm in, its my way of dealing. my way of facing up to things. my way of forcing myself to accept things. when i choreograph a dance, i put my heart and soul (as cliche as it sounds) into it. every emotion i show, is something that i feel or felt. that's why i take my dances very seriously. i'm putting my life out there to be watched.

that's why i love dance so much. its my escape. my world, where no one can shatter. where i can throw myself into everything and just feel. its like a drug-induced high. haha.

it sometimes feels that even though i haven't left, the distance already exists. the hole that i will be leaving is already being filled up, perhaps unconsciously. i'm so tired. i have no energy to make that space anymore. as much as i hate it, i feel like maybe i should just resign to fate. i'm escaping to my world of dance again, just like dance night last year and e year before.

its like you all see me now, but never really seeing me anymore.

: autumn :: paolo nutini :

RJ DANCE :D GOLD WITH HONOURS. haha. i'm super proud of my darling juniors (y)

on a another note. wu zun is seriously seriously a man after my own heart. grins. let's see, he's damn good looking, has a lovely body, speaks proper english, is rather smart, can cook, is athletic, very meticulous, perfectionist. and oh my have you seen his hands (: this is serious obsession i tell you. ahahaha.

and after i obsess finish -.- i'm going to self-combust due to stress.

bad things
i twisted my ankle. i'm sleepy. i'm sick. i'm voiceless. i have a headache. my nose is running. dancers are not giving me their pre-orders -glares- my knee is killing me.

good things
rj did GOOD at syf today (: i'm so proud of my juniors. i hope they get _______. i had a lovely talk with angie last night for 2 hours. man u won 3-2 :D i had a great time with shisi at syf. rj juniors are semi-supportive of the concert. my internship starts next monday. and i get to sleep now.

goodnight.

memories

new zealand was beautiful (: it was honestly breathtakingly beautiful. its the kind of place, where u look around, and think 'its great to be alive'. haha. its really true how the best things come when u least expect it. i went there with no expectations whatsoever, especially after ming kept wailling abt nz. grins. but i really had a great time. pictures soon (:

expectations vs no expectations. reminded me of a certain holiday again.

today was tramp comp. watching my juniors up there. jumping. it was my whole world once. everything i worked for was in that room. watching wenxin and hui hui jump, it made me feel so detached from gym, from them. it made me miss gym so much, miss rg gym, miss our 2004 b div. that was the best year ever. for everything. kayli was back (: she was there to cheer me on, to hold me when i cried, like i did for her the year before. so many friendships were forged over that trampoline. sisters. i miss the nonsense-ing around with my juniors. i miss learning from kayli and huiru. i can never forget tramp comp 03, standing beside the tramp, watching kayli jump. watching everything turn out so wrongly, and not being able to do a thing. i miss having a fixed time every week that i got to train with mel and ziying. it was so good. those days, those hours were wonderful. i'm really proud of my j2 juniors, you guys have always been so wonderful, one of the biggest joys in gym for me (: you guys never let me down. juee, wenxin, hui hui and wanchee. esp wenxin today. 8.95. you rock darling.

when i think about leaving things behind. i always say i cannot do it, that it's too hard and painful. but i realise, as long as i don't think about it beforehand, i'll make the decision to drop it very suddenly. it was the way with ballet, gym, wj and other important things. but no matter what i do, there's just one i can't let go, leave behind. stupidity.

staring at photos again. trying to keep the memories clear. to wipe away the mist covering your face.

i think it was always meant to be lse.

: zhuan sheng de shi hou :: silence ost :

sentio

i present. Sentio, my baby (:

hahaha. its a non-profit dance concert organised by angie, evelyn and i as co-chairs and many many other individuals. this has been our baby for the past few months, so we do hope that you can give us the support!

sentio is a charity dance concert benefitting the bone marrow donor programme. we'll be showcasing a wide range of dance genres, with performers from rj alumni (ie. me!), rj chi dance alumni, sajc, nus blast, ladc and many many others. we promise you that we will pour our heart and soul into this performance, and make every cent u spend worth it!

ticket prices are $15, $30, $50 for fri night, 8th june, and $25, $50 and $100 for sat night, 9th june (gala night). the venue is republic polytechnic (woodlands), and we know that it is far, but we hope that you'll make the effort to make the trip down, to show us your support as well as to do your bit for charity.

do email us at sentio.tickets@gmail.com or you can email me at wild.stars@gmail.com to purchase tickets or if you have any enquiries. thanks.

i'm painting my fingernails & toenails fire-engine red (: hahaha, it seems a tradition for me to paint my nails before i go on any trips. grins.

anyway, i'm off to nz soon (: i'll see everybody in 2 weeks time, and ming/junwee, if you do watch e man u matches or know e results (uefa & epl) DO TELL ME THE RESULTS :D i will love either one mucho mucho.

so long, farewell i need to say goodbye (sound familiar?)

ciao!